Although it might not bother you to have a small child who clings to you, few parents want an overly dependent young adult son or daughter calling for money and help. And when it comes to parenting advice about raising an independent child, keep in mind it’s not the same world as it was two or three decades ago. In an era when children seem attached via their smartphones, experts say it’s more important than ever to establish boundaries. So, read on to learn how to raise your child to be independent and confident, too.

Letting Go of Control

Some parents want to remain important in their child’s lives, so they keep them dependent. But you should try to teach your children to find motivation within instead of relying on external validation. And it’s important to provide limits and rewards only for achievement and good behavior.

And although many young adult children rely on their parents for some financial support, it’s a red flag if they text and call you throughout the day. So, how to raise your child to fly solo and leaves the nest at the right time, you have to let go of some control.

Remember, your children should express happiness in organic situations. Also, it’s important to instill values, such as honesty, integrity and self-responsibility. In other words, there are consequences for what they do. No one steps in to “save” or rescue your child if they make a poor decision.

How to Raise Your Child to Want to Be Independent

Independent children aren’t afraid to take care of themselves in a crisis or in an ordinary situation. This is because they feel motivated from within to achieve. You know you are on the right path when your children work well with other people but have no trouble working solo. They make good decisions, rarely looking to you for a nod of approval or asking whether they did the right thing.

As a parent, it’s your responsibility to provide your children with guidance, resources, support and materials, as well as education. How to raise your child to want to be independent is to teach them responsibility. And facing their responsibilities means giving their best effort, showing appreciation and completing what they start. Other qualities include cooperating and expressing gratitude and empathy.

When you raise an independent child, you are less likely to end up with a clingy child who is a “pleaser” or one who does not live up to their own expectations. You also want to prevent children from acting like reactors who do the opposite of what you want.

So, experts suggest you give your children plenty of love and respect while showing them you feel confident in them. Also, let them have control over their lives without always stepping in to help. The best parenting advice is to keep a child accountable while still loving and nurturing them.